Thanks everyone, especially Lola.

I'm going to raise the "blank slate" with T again, but it's not bothering me at the moment.

My T gave me some appointments for the end of March, and somehow that give me comfort that she will be back and everything will be all right.

And T is right: I have seen her "younger than fifteen". There have been moments when she has been very relaxed and playful, with her head tilted almost horizontal and grinning like a Cheshire cat. How old is that posture? Preschool, I think.