It sounds like you really want to change your life. I would like to suggest something if you are going to be around your computer several hours per day - overnight as you sleep is actually best.

http://www.subliminalmp3s.com/

You can sign up to receive 3 free samples. There are 5 different versions of all of their subliminal MP3s, and the one I tend to use most is the "silent" version. I play them with the volume turned up and let the files repeat all night.

I think the first free sample was Harmony. It helps you to feel more relaxed and confident.