wow. Bless your heart!!! I know when I told my T about the CSA stuff, he also did not give me a hug on that day. We had kinda just started the hug thing a bit. It hurt me at a core level.

One of the hardest things I had to do was to go back and face him and talk about it. I let him know that it felt like he had used me to get to the "dirty bits" of my story and then dumped me with no tenderness at all. How it felt the exact same way when the CSA happened where there was tenderness right up until the perp got out of me what he wanted and then there was a physical and emotional pushing me away.

After I explained this, we talked about things and how it was not that way. He just didn't want me to be set up emotionally expecting another authority figure to perp on me. I let him know how his hugs to me were SAFE and I knew that and they healed me at a deep level. Once he saw my point of view, he went back to offering me a hug at the end of session.

I am not sure how your T will respond, but you owe it to yourself to be frank and honest about how all of this makes you feel. It really is a HUGE part of trauma healing.