T got me in for a session yesterday, even though I wasn't scheduled this week. It was good to talk to him, after these stupid panic attacks have been coming daily. I finally gave him the green light to send a referall to an MD he refers out to so I can get on meds. So, one thing I have to do today is set up the appointment. It is scarying the heck out of me when I think about it.

The other thing, and the one I am most afraid of is.. He suggested I go to the urgent care where I have been getting most of my care (we don't have a primary doc right now). We actually know the PA there, so we feel comfortable going to him. But, T wants me to show up and tell them that I have been having panic attacks and ask for something fast acting while, I wait to get into the MD that he is refferring me too. I feel so weird about doing this.. Weird about everything from telling the receptionist I am there to talk about panic attacks, and then asking the PA for meds that I know some people seek out for non-legit uses.. However, I know that it could be a while before I get into see the MD, and I can't handle much more of these daily panic attacks. I can do this right???