The nurse sounds like a good listener, Kurah(sp). I think you need to provide yourself with a safe place. It sounds to me that where you are, you do not feel safe. I'll continue to read and respond to your posts, unless my life becomes busy or something like that which would prevent me from posting online. I can't make you feel safe, I don't believe I can anyway. I can share my expereinces and thoughts. I studied a bit of history in college, so I have a little training there. I studied a little business also. I've learned, in therapy, about mental illness. I can share what I've learned about that also.

I am concerned for you, based on what you post here. I wish I could help, I feel helpless about your fears and confusion. I hope you receive help soon. Good luck and I hope to read good, hopeful news about your life soon