That would be a strange joke, I've never heard of anyone being murdered at random to amuse the perpetrator. At least not in low crime neighborhoods. Also, I don't think many people get away with murder these days. Even violent people would hesitate before commiting to an act of murder, given the likelyhood of being detained in prison for 15+ years or more. Or the death penalty, depending on which state they are in. You haven't posted anything that causes me to think your in real danger. It sounds to me, from your posts, that it is the voices in your mind. Let the words of your nurse, therapist and psychiatrist in to your mind. Accept that they might know something that you do not right now. They might know something that will help you. Good luck