Nelliecat, my T didn't start touching me until after I started talking about the CSA. I had a huge reaction after I left the first the time I talked about it and was just shivering for HOURS. The next time, I told him what happened and he asked if there was anything he could do to help me feel more grounded and stable before I left. I was super hesitant to ask for touch because (1) things he had said made it seem totally off limits, and (2) I think I'm disgusting and no one will ever want to touch me and (3) how weird is it to have to ASK someone to touch you??

Anyway, my heart was pounding, but I slowly just said, "could you touch me, hold my hand . . ." His immediate response was, "May I hug you?" I was like YES! PLEASE PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE hug me! He said that he doesn't offer hugs, generally ever. If someone asks and it seems therapeutic, he does hug. However, with people who have suffered from CSA, he generally never touches beyond a hand on the back if the person had a really tough session. He's male and tall and muscular, and knows that not all women are going to be comfortable with him touching them.

I think your T was trying to look out for your sensitivities, though she did so in a stupid, yucky way. She should have ASKED you if touch bothered you. If touching after talking about s*x was a problem. Maybe if you let her know that touch has a grounding, reassuring effect for you, she will begin touching you again.