(((((((((((((((((((((((( crazylife ))))))))))))))))))))))))) I can really relate to what you're saying!

it takes time to allow someone to come close*. And for every client, the amount of time is different (for me, 18 months the first time, don't know what this time will bring).

I don't have Wonderful Advice to give you except that, and to say please go gently with yourself. Trusting may never come easily, but you will know when to try it out. keep going........

* PS added ... http://home.pacific.net.hk/~rebylee/text/prince/21.html