Errr.... so I wrote a whole thing, and it signed me out and aI lost it. I hate when that happens!

Anyway!

I'm going through the same thing, so I feel like I can comment on this with an understanding of what you're feeling. I know if feels impossible to get out, like if you push it it's going to kill you, and "it" isn't really anything. I hate when people ask me what I'm so afraid of, because I can't answer. I'm just afraid. But it is possible to get through that.

If it's really minor, and you have to go, force it. Sometimes it's just getting past the door that you need to do. I have a hard time with transitional moments. I am either in the house or out of the house and I forget the leaving the house part (I think I dissociate), but because of that sometimes I forget how to get out of the house. If you do leave, and it's not any better, then at least you tried.

Second, sometimes I find I can't leave on my own, but if someone physically comes and gets me then I can. I'm by no means happy about it, but I can do it, and by the time I'm doing what I was suppose to be doing (groceries, class, therapy or some other appointment) I am able to function mostly normally. Having someone physically there does help, at least for me, in the minor to medium cases of this. I simply call my mom and say "mom, i can't leave," and she knows to come and help me.

I know it seems like a lot to ask someone, but if it's someone that really cares about you, it won't be as much of a burden I don't think. I have asked my mom about it a hundred times, and she says she doesn't mind because she wants me to be okay, and because as a result we've gotten to spend a lot of time together. Me and my mom were close before, but now we're like best friends. It's really nice.

And for the times I can't get out; I stocked up on caned food and freezer food. I have a lot of periods when I just can't cook, the same as I can't leave. There's a wall there in my head and I don't want to push it because it might hurt. Often they happen at the same time. I also keep on top of my schoolwork, so when I do have to email my prof or TA they know for sure it's not because I'm slacking (they know I'm having issues).

I hoped this helped. I was writing about this in another thread if you want to check it out. I'm about to go reply to it now. Don't worry about getting judged, and if you need help ask. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here and I don't mind talking.