Quote:
Originally Posted by Nelliecat
You're all so lovely and I don't want to mislead you. She was the one that brought up CSA although it has been the unsaid 'thing' on my mind for ages too. I get what I suppose are terrible body memories during s*x, i find it frightening, distressing and it makes me feel like I'm a little girl with someone doing something to her that they shouldn't. I get triggered by csa stuff especially if a little girl is involved. But I don't have any concrete memories just this awful blocked feeling surrounding it.
I just want to stop it all and never go back to T. I want to just not exist. Not sui. Just not be here.
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ohh Nelliecat, i deal with this EXACT same thing. all of it. My T usually gives me a hug at the end of every session. Always initated by her. And if she doesnt I feel so let down. Im sure I could ask and she would be fine with it, but I dont want to have to ask. I never ask for hugs. I hate even asking my hubby for hugs. I feel needy and weak. *sigh* just wanted to let you know you're not alone