Doc, i didn't write one word to "cross a line" or to be disrespectful. if something i said felt that way to you, i'm sorry.

i do want to say this, i stand by my intentions that i had when i wrote my posts. i immediately responded when i read your post. all of that came from my gut/heart. that's where most feelings live. mine don't live in my head.

a very important question. why do you feel that you need a "private supporters forum"? i'm so surprised that you are doing it and i just don't understand why. when you discussed this with your adm and mods, didn't anyone think this would hurt posters feelings?

as you can see, so many thought that their contributions of: love, caring, support for strangers, time spent here, etc. really meant something. now people are questioning their worth here. after a night's sleep, i still don't understand this. my message flag continues to flash. there are a lot of people here who are afraid to post about this publicly. you aren't seeing all of the pain here.

i am so very confused about the forum.

again, for those who mention "blame".......there a lot of people here who are questioning, expressing their feelings (which obviously is very difficult for them) and exhibiting some anger. if anyone should know, we know that pain frequently comes out first as anger. just because i sat here with a big hole in my gut doesn't mean that someone else, in their pain, didn't want to smash their keyboard. this is a forum for people with problems. Doc owns the forum, who else is going to get the heat from the hurt? the guy on the rock?

there is a difference between reaction and responding. and for some of us, it's hard to tell the difference. reacting usually comes from fear, anger and perhaps a feeling of rejection. responding comes from a carefully thought out base from which you project your feelings/thoughts. oboviously, everyone here is at a different level in their understanding of reaction and response. that is what makes the forum unique. we're all different.

there is also the "fight or flee" reaction/response. i imagine that you're going to see both actions. some will fight for their beliefs and some will flee the forums and never return.

please give everyone a chance to express whatever it is they are feeling in their own way.

this is a support forum and and i'm impressed that people are stepping forward (which is difficult for some of them) to say what they are feeling/thinking.

please, please, don't shut anyone down unless something is said that will hurt the entire forum. please let your forum members speak. fayerody