Thanks everyone. I was feeling better until today. I have an appointment with her tomorrow. I hope I can say what I need to say. Maybe I can practice with you guys?

I did something that I'm ashamed of. I secretly looked at the text messages of a guy I am seeing. I knew it was wrong and I've never done this before, but I had a suspicion that this girl from his work was texting him. I know she likes him, I used to work in the same place. She always flirted with him and it drove me crazy.

Anyway, he was supposed to go to work last week after having almost 2 weeks vacation. He decided he wanted another day off so he had to call out of work. He called while we were in the car together and the girl works at the front desk so she takes call outs. She was working that night and I could hear her on the phone telling him "he couldn't call out" blah blah blah, basically teasing him. He was being friendly to her because he is friendly to everyone. For the longest time I didn't even know he was interested in me because I thought he was just being nice to me like everyone else. So I think she's interpreting his niceness as something else.

So about a half hour later he got a text. When he read it he made this face like he was kind of disgusted and annoyed. I thought on of his friends just sent something that annoyed him. I didn't think much of it until about an hour later. For some reason I thought to myself that it must have been her texting him. I don't know why I thought this, but I just knew. So while he was away from his phone I checked his texts and it was from her. It said "I <3 you too but I haven't seen you in so long, haha" I was furious. I had a feeling she liked him, but this was proof. It bothered me so much! But I was also annoyed with myself, because it was not right that I read his texts.

He didn't respond to her. He got another text about an hour later, but he didn't even look at his phone. He didn't look at it again until we went to bed. He just flipped it open and shut it again. I snuck a look at his phone again that night and there was a new text from her. I didn't read because he hadn't read it either. This happened on Friday and has been driving me crazy since. I keep telling myself that I shouldn't worry. He didn't look happy when he read her text and he ignored the second one. He read the second one the next day, but I didn't sneak a look at his phone even though I wanted to. I knew it was not the right thing to do, but I'm dying to know what she texted him. A few days later I have to admit I sneaked a look at his phone. He had deleted her text messages, but not mine or his friends'. I even looked at his sent folder to see if he sent anything. I feel like a crazy person all of a sudden. I've never done that before and it has been bothering me all week.

They go to the same college so I keep thinking to myself what if they are spending time together when he's not with me? I am my own worst enemy and always think of the worst. I'm still so mad at myself for looking at his phone! Now I've been checking her Facebook page to see what she writes...this is not good. I think about this all the time, in class, in bed, driving...I'm so upset!