im in a weird spot right now and im not sure what to do. i really like my T. its taken me a long time to open up and be comfortable but she has become very important to me. ive always been every emotionally guarded, unsure, etc and i feel like shes the first person in my life im developing a real emotional connection with. I know its pretty one sided cause its 95% about me but Im ok with that because I know thats what I need. But i hold back, second guess, wonder..whatever the word is because I question whether its real. I see her once a week and its freaking me out how important it is to me that i see her. Its almost like for 28yrs ive brushed off, avoided, shut down, and not paid attention to feelings and emotions and now all the sudden the flood gates are open and im swarmed and overwhelmed with everything. All I can think is I need to see T. Im not wanting her to be my mom or needing her to be my friend..I have friends. But for some reason i NEED her. I need her help. And i cant pinpoint for what exactly. Almost like I have to form this relationship with her this deep emotional connection and learn how that works and what its like before I can have that with anyone else in my life. Is that crazy? Its like theres a reason shes in my life but Im fighting it to protect myself long term and dont want her to know how important she is cause i feel like a crazy idiot. ugh, so confused and tired and overwhelmed and done. im praying someone else has experience this before....