It took me 9 years of being active in my ED before I tried to get "help". Unfortunately my experience back then was seriously lacking (not sure they knew much about this back then) & here I am another 20 years later....I have hope.

Anyway, I am wondering if you looked at it as getting someone else's perspective or something like that. You put you like meeting new people....

I am much the same as you in that imperfection department. I am also a psychology buff (I could probably be given an honorary degree). It took a huge bout of depression like I had never experienced to get me to therapy. I can take the highs. I love the energy, but this depression thing sucked....Anyway, I did alot of research on BP & ended up on BPD. I said "this is it". My T said she didn't see it because of A & B....Well, it is some 5 weeks later & she is now focused on both BP & BPD. I handed her my diagnosis. I am just saying that maybe it could be fun? to take a more active, in depth role in knowing yourself or knowing yourself in a different way? I am very introspective, but I too get confused at times. One of my things is I do my thinking for me as well as everyone else's thinking for them about me. My brain is VERY busy & I like it, but it is exhausting. Anyway, like I stated, it is helpful to just look at it as getting an impartial perspective.

& OMG, don't even get me started on the sex thing with ED. I so want to respect my boyfriend's view, but any hint of being turned down, delayed, let's say he even has a "problem" down below???? sends me into "what's wrong with me" mode. Thank goodness I have never been cheated on!!!! I am not sure I could recover from that. (I pray that I am never be tested in this area....)