Quote:
Originally Posted by mcl6136
I just need to get something off my chest.
You all seem to have these marvelous relationships with your therapists.
When I virtually complain about mine, I feel like a skunk at the garden party.
I don't have a warm and fuzzy relationship with this T, or the last one. I cannot imagine holding hands with this T or the last one. Or thinking this T or the last one is giving me some kind of unconditional listening or support. Not this T or the last one.
Sometimes, reading this board makes me feel that there is something wrong with me...that I don't seem to be able to have those kinds of chats with Ts that only seem to happen in the movies.
After a session, I generally feel extremely stirred up...at best inspired, but never ...unconditionally understood or saved....
or "completed" by T.
I guess I'm jealous of some of you and your perfect therapy. 
There, I've said it.
Please don't take this personally if you're in perfect therapy. But those of you who aren't....I could use a bit of support.
Imperfectly yours,
MCL |
I don't think there is such a thing as a 'perfect T' or 'perfect relationship' with T or anybody to be honest, because we are all imperfect beings. There's also no such thing as unconditional - interaction is a two-way street and so both parties have to get something out of it for it to work. This is a bit complicated to explain, but I had an epiphany about it a few weeks ago. I was thinking about how I felt my Nan loved me 'unconditionally', and how I can't feel 'unconditional love/support' anymore because I always focus on the transaction nature of relationships. And I realised that the 'conditions' come from BOTH PARTIES - so the feeling that my Nan's love was unconditional wasn't coming from her, but actually coming from ME because I wasn't focusing on what the conditions were! Obviously there were conditions (she enjoyed spending time with me because I loved seeing her & got excited about spending time with her, and she got excited because my enthusiasm was infectious etc), but it felt 'unconditional' because I was in the moment and not focused on the conditions.
Anyway I guess that long-winded and complicated tale (I hope it makes sense? It's getting late here) was to ask if you are placing any conditions on your T relationship MCL?
Don't feel bad about not having the warm fuzzies after T - I don't. I don't want him to hug me or touch me or anything like that. I just want him to listen to me, and do his job, because it *is* his job, and I will do my job - turning up and on time, doing my homework, trying my best to make changes with T's help etc.
All the best MCL,
*Willow*