I don't really think it is about wanting to die as much as it is about wanting to get relief from the struggle. I don't really come to this forum very often, but I am dealing with the depression that comes with the PTSD that I struggle with. I have been trying not to feed into the depression. But my therapist reminds me that is a part of my personal struggle.

The one thing that I have recognize is that the SI does pass and there are better days too. I have had experience some very dark days and it was extremely hard and I did SI. If I get too much negetive, and I do have some not so nice things I am dealing with. I get very tired and discouraged. I have had a couple of bad days and I have been lucky to have a buddy here that has helped me out. But it is hard and I did do my best to allow myself to even cry, I have a very deep sadness that I haven't quite come to terms with yet. I am trying to work on it with my T.

The only thing I can say, is keep in mind that at some point we will lose the privilage of life, so do your very best to find ways to appreciate what is around you, the living world that has so much splender in it. Look beyond yourself, try to partake in that world outside your door. You don't have to be perfect, as a matter of fact, if you look at trees, all are different and none are perfect. However they can be very beautiful all crooked, bending and turning as they reach up to the sun.

Open Eyes