Menace,I am so sad to hear this; I get a lot of comfort from my faith. Without it, I would feel no comforting at all. I wonder why it is that some folks are really triggered negatively by belief in a higher power, and others are not. It maybe the exposure of the individual to circumstances and to people who are toxic. My brother has a comment he uses a lot concerning what you said about warm and loving things and how it backfires....he says "no good deed goes unpunished." He's a bit of a sceptic though. take care

hugs, bj