((((( soup ))))) thinking of painful things doesn't seem like self indulgence to me; after all, you're thinking of them so that they will lose their power over you & you won't have to think of them so much ever again.

ETA: forgot to say - I think of the therapy all the time, but about T2 directly, I think of her when I get quiet time. I talk to her in my heart, who are you? etc. It's actually very painful at the moment.