See, now THIS is the part I don't get. When T was in our shoes at this point in T's own therapy, this question surely came up. Oh! I guess we COULD ask T and they would tell us what it was like for them to be constantly thinking of their T? EXCEPT THAT - for them, they have a book in front of them that tells them to expect these "ten standard" reactions to therapy, which makes it less embarrassing when they do, like pooping when you give birth. WHERE IS OUR BOOK??? Good thing we have each other. Anyway, I think the final outcome of thinking about T all the time is, we eventually replace the negative messages in our head (you're so stupid! you can't do anything right!) (i guess THOSE are still there!) with
his unconditional positive regard (i'm so glad to see you! you're the smartest person in any room! thank you! I love your smile! It's okay to make a mistake! ). So there's a method to this madness!