(((((((fuzzy white bear)))))))))

I am trying. I saw T this morning and it did help clarify some things and now I have a lot to think about.

We are still very sad and feel left out and abandonded and scared no one will like us because we don't belong. I can't help it. This is how I feel and it all hurts. I'm not feeling too safe right now and proboblly shouldn't have written that.

No matter what I say, people don't understand. I can't help the way I feel. I am trying. T said in his many years of practice, he has never had a client that has done so much to try and help themselves (he was talking about me). But what I do never seems to be enough and I am sad.

Snowbird hides because she is angry and feels like she was led to believe that she could express herself, finally, without being judged and now she was judged and is hurt and all the progress we made is gone.

Someone said to take baby steps outside this forum. I tried another baby step and got squished. Maybe it was a big step - oops. I just want people to respect me for who I am and how I feel. They don't have to like any of us. We're used to that, mean kids at school, mean kids in the family, mean daddy. He's very sick right now and I don't know what to think about that.

Whatever you want to call us, Snowbird slipped out and I have to stop now because I have to maintain control. Someone say a prayer for me.

Love,
Anne