I really, really dislike being lied to or about. I sometimes take a long time to respond to posts that involve dishonesty because I don't want to just have a knee jerk reaction to the situation.

I had an issue with a vet who made a series of errors that resulted in the death of one of my horses. I discovered the errors before the horse actually died and had another vet try to save the horse. I spent over two thousand dollars with the other vet trying to save the horse, and the second vet told me that the first vet was totally at fault and if treated promptly and properly, the horse would have lived, and the treatment would have been a few hundred dollars.

After the horse died, the first vet sent me a bill for her services. Those bills did not accurately reflect what happened. Basically, the bills were a CYA for her. I sent back a very detailed letter listing each inaccuracy. I couldn't NOT respond to the inaccuracies.

Whether it's OCD or whatever, when someone sends me a letter like your ex-T sent you, I HAVE to respond. So, in your shoes, eastcoaster, I would have to send back a copy of the e-mail that you saved and detail the inaccuracies. I'm sure you can do it in a nice way; your original letter was very articulate and not mean at all.

Also -- FWIW, I think the thing about her mother dying was just a blatant play for you to go easy on her and not force her into taking responsibility right this minute. Her mother dying had nothing to do with her behavior at the time all this was happening.