I've been having trouble with this lately, to the point wherein I find myself clutching my head waiting for the pain(not physical) to subside. I don't know why I'm not telling my mom, I guess I'm in a way trying to help myself. Or maybe I feel that she just won't understand me. I've tried all if not most of the psychological/mental tests here and well, my results are most of the time negative. By this I simply mean that my scores are usually high and I don't mean that in a good way. Are any of these tests accurate or are they any indication that I might have to go to a professional?

It's a stupid question really, I know that I should go, but I don't know at the same time. Yes I do confuse myself on a regular basis. My head clutching moments, I call them or refer to them as an episode. I do tend to cut, not for the sheer enjoyment of it, though I have to admit sometimes it's fun but painful. I do this so I can distract myself from doing something worse.. Does that make sense? I feel horribly guilty after I've done it, but I can't help it. I'm obsessed with thoughts of accidents that would eventually lead to my death.

I guess I'm frustrated that I told a few close people of some things that are happening with me, but I don't know. It's not enough. It helps ease the pain sometimes but not completely. Talking about it feels good, but it doesn't make these feelings go away.