Hi Guys,
All my sympathy and compassion.I identify totally
with your fears+trepidations.I remember my first faltering
steps to assert myself;I started with taking a not hot-enough
coffee back,and feeling the fear+adrenalin+shaking----NOW,
I don't give it a second thought! So it CAN be done.I started
by getting books on assertiveness(I was so bloody frightened
I could only read 2+3 pages at a time)!But I persevered,and
it took a long time,but the REWARDS are bliss.What I mean,
is,I started to LIKE myself,I started to RESPECT myself,and
that was very important to me.BECAUSSEE,the most important relationship you will ever have,is the one with
yourself.You see,once you get by most of the anxiety,you
find out that people are not all that powerful.In fact,most of
them BLUFF their way,they ACT tough,but when you push a
little,most will cave in,or at least not think they can push you around.To that end,here's a couple of things you can do physically to stave off any bluffers:Walk tall (before I go
any further,do NOT dismiss these physical things,the body is always talking)! Give eye-contact, keep head UP, raise the voice a decibel or 2,Practice the phone call on a dead
phone,BEFORE you make actual call,and raising the voice on it too. To keep the nerves from jangling,take deep BELLY breaths and let air out through pursed lips slowly
(this works like a charm I tell you)--you know you're doing
it right when exhaling you feel like yawning.Now,to the literature:For assertiveness get,"When I say No I Feel Guilty"by Manuel J. Smith. Along WITH THAT,this book on
self-esteem is thee No1 on the subject."THE SIX PILLARS
OF SELF-ESTEEM" by Nathaniel Branden. I would go so far
as to say these 2 books could change your lives!
Don't let me or yourself down now,cause I love happy endings,and I want you to let me know how you get on!
Oh,and don't hesitate to message me if you have any
questions,or difficulties.Be of good courage,you are worth it!
Respectfully Yours,
BLUEDOVE