wow! I love what you wrote! The courage you wanna have back after all those years; that's so important! And if you can remember the way you felt then, I can easily guess that is an important part you could discuss with your t. You were expressing something back then by running away, and you're expressing something now by the way you feel... And the way you feel now is also so important... you're suffering and want the courage to change thing or to try life differently... there's no tragedy of life scale; even though you didn't go through trauma, it doesn't mean you have no issues to work on. And no one can judge on the importance of the issue other than you.

If you want to talk with your t about this and the email next time, why not send her another email asking her to introduce it for you because you're too shy to do it?

take care
faith