I've not been here for a longtime. Right now, i'm coping really hard in school because for once in my life, i wanna make my parents happy and proud that i can do well academically, even though that i'm wasting their money on my education since i know that i am thinking of killing myself right after graduating. I've tried my best to not have suicide thoughts but it's impossible for me. Everyday i wake up unhappy or maybe happiness to me is like in a blink of an eye. I never live for myself but others...