Well... can we agree to disagree on religion?

I am truly sorry you feel punished by God for anything good.

I am truly sorry you feel punished by anyone for doing good, kind deeds.

I am glad you are still inspired to do good & you say you have a conscience.

Try not to feed into the supernatural force, negative, toxic happenings of life.

Because... if you feed & water a plant, it will grow. See the comparison?

Then again, if you over or under water/fertilize a plant, it may die. That is a human error, nothing to do with religion or super natural forces.

May seem like a silly comparison, just the best I could think of without getting too deep into religion & getting deleted & warned.

Really wish you the best, don't give up.