I personally feel uncomfortable going that far on our forums, if a member here wishes to talk to you about this area I suggest you and them try doing a discussion using private messaging, it will be almost the same as posting here but more private, also maybe you might want to contact a professional, like a therapist, to talk over some of your problems with this. I am happy to see you are making friends here and again welcome to our forum. Please do not be offended by this reply, I just would like to keep things fairly modest, I hope you can understand.
Thanks,
"darkeyes"