Crimsonhaze, I know the feeling of not knowing what to do. I debated for months whether to tell my mom that I wanted to go to therapy and I debated even longer if I should go or if it was worth it. Honestly, I think you can do all the "tests" you want to on here and you won't really get the answers you need until you go to therapy. I was not a believer in therapy until about two months ago! I thought it wouldn't help or would just cause more problems when I told my family I wanted to go, but it was one of the best decisions I made! I am doing a lot better now than two months ago and I really think therapy would help you too!

I was the person that would self-injur and feel so guilty after, but I couldn't stop because the physical pain was more bearable than the stuff going on in my head. That kinda sounds like what you are going through and honestly, having someone like a therapist to talk to helps a lot with all of that! They can help find ways to cope and eventually maybe stop or at least reduce the thoughts in your head. Its really scary telling your parents you want to go, but for now you can just explain you would like to go and not explain why exactly if that is more comfortable! I would highly suggest going though! Good luck with everything and lots of hugs!!!!