This isn't the first go round with all of this. I have done this before. I was eighteen the first time. See, I suffered child abuse from the time I was five, raped when I was twelve, this was the first person who was also a relative. I was raped when I was seventeen and tried to commit suicide when I was 18....so I was made to see a psychologist. I do not know why I have always had these problems with talking to these doctors, but it has always been this way. I to people on the internet all day long, involve the person, be it over the phone or actually sitting in front of them and I start freaking out. My husband is going with me, so at least he will be there in the building in case something goes wrong. Thank you all!