I'm on such a rollercoaster right now.

I'm physicallly alone, in my spare time, its very odd for me, as i avoid this at any cost necessary,
last night i was watching facebook, my mum, stepdad and brothers were off round one of my mums new friends house for a night of fun, my friends were all going out, and i was hme alone. Because i live far away now because of work and i cant drive.

I was SO ANGRY with this woman who my mum has become friends with since i left home 3 weeks ago, i wanted to private message her to stay away from MY mum. but every bone of sense in my body stopped me. I would have been acting on emotion and not reason, even though every sane thought in my head tells me one thing, its hard to act on them not the emotions i feel .

So tonight i've been 'manic,' i'm used to seeing it as manic as have been previously dx'd as Bipolar, but now i know its now manic.

I felt an anxiety attack coming on today on my way home from work, i was imaging stabbing pains all over my body and couldnt cope in the super market, had to run away.

But while at work, i'm over achieving, confident and able, well for th past 3 days i have been, before that i was a tired depressed mess.

I cant say a statement about how i feel without another statement coming straight after contradicting it.

I love myself, i hate myself, i'm clever, i'm stupid, i'm lonely, i dont need ANYONE and so on and so on.