Thank you Stardustedforever. I am glad you can understand what I am trying to say.

Here it is another night is approaching and I am so scared. I am terrified the person who knocked on my door will be back tonight.

I just have to live through it if he does.

I hate this. I hate this. I hate this.

I am so glad that PC is here. I do not know what I would do if I could not talk to someone who understands.

Yes I do. I would think I am crazier than I already do. i would feel all alone and more like a freak in this world. I would cry more and want to die more urgently.

Thank you fellow sufferers and PC folks for being here.

I still hate being me. But you do make it easier. Thank you for that.

I still need a way to survive under the radar for just a few more years.

Or even just for tonight. I am so scared. I feel like a stationary target. UGH! Why do I attract these people?

I hate this. I hate this. I hate this.