So today I saw my T and it was all and all, a very confusing and overwhelming time. I hadn't seen him in over two weeks, and for those two weeks I was so relieved to not have to see him. Not because I don't like him, it's just easier to not deal with things. Actually, when he told me he was going to be gone I immediately thought, "Oh thank, GOD." Bit of a side note, but has anyone else ever felt like that? Just relieved that you don't have to go to therapy?

OKAY. Back to my main point..so the session today was intense and uncomfortable, but in a lot of ways good. Intense and uncomfortable because this was the first time we actually talked nonstop about heavy issues, but good because I felt like he genuinely cared. But here's my issue now: He suggested a multitude of different options for me, and one was more intense treatment that he can't offer. THAT threw me. Really threw me. I really don't think I need more care and then I felt like he didn't want me as a client or that I screwed things up, or said too much, etc. The session ended fine, though. I'm going to start meeting with him twice a week now, which he normally doesn't do, sooo I think he still likes me. Haha, gosh I don't know. Now that I've been thinking about the session for awhile, I'm just confused. I guess that's the only was to describe it. Confused on the homework he wants me to do; confused on if he still wants me as a client; confused about if I'm doing the right thing by going..AH. Anyone else ever get overwhelmed with thoughts like that?