I am sorry as well.

And honestly? Something about your post really struck home with me. It goes like this:

During my most awful moments with my T, what I noticed was that my T would reflect back to me, THE MOST NEGATIVE ASPECTS of what I said about my life. None of the growth, the triumphs, the stretching that I did, just the negative.

Obviously, she is NOT a good t. They are supposed to lift you up and point out the strides/growth you have made!

For example, when I said, well, my job is going really well lately, and I've raised more than 180K for my organization, and I have put new computer systems in place, but I don't know if I want to work there long term....T would say "so you're just surviving in your job."

And I would be like....WTF?

WTF! Maybe she is jealous. She took a positive and made it a negative. That certainly wasn't "just surviving" That was taking ACTION and doing something amazing. Jealous

Or, I would say....I've gone out on a few dates...I felt more comfortable with the whole endeavor, though it's still a stretch....my T replied ..."So, you're not really connecting in an intimate way." Well, not yet....but could I please have another few days to work on this???? Sheesh!

And yet...and yet, when it came time for "closure" , my T said.

I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE SEVERAL SESSIONS IN WHICH WE TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU FOUND HELPFUL IN THIS PROCESS AND WHAT WENT WELL.

I don't know why, but it sounds to me as if she wants this to be about HER and what SHE has done right.

Helpful?

Really?

When it comes to evaluating YOU, I must stick to the HELPFUL, but when we talk about my life...we emphasize the brokenness, the downsides, and the negative.

At that point, it was all over but the shouting.

And yes, I did suggest that I might want to offer an evaluation that took in the fullness of my experience. It did not go over well.

CE said it best...if you didn't hear me then...why should I tell you now?

I've decided to move on. I posted about this phenomenon and frankly, felt that a few people on this forum leaped to my Ts defense and were like....gee, maybe T meant x or maybe t meant y or gee, this is all about you....(?) but after this pattern repeated itself many times, I could not help but conclude that my T reflected and validated only my weaknesses and points of pain, and heard none of what I said about my progress and my strengths, which I could only conclude...at some point, was my T's CRAP and not mine!