Hi people.
It's Sezzie. Hope you are all doing as best you can!
Yes- the subject i posted is called 'Stopped it'. i did stop da purging. i haven't purged in 10 days. Woo hoo me! I purged today though- feel stink about that- but at least i gave myself 10 days off and allowed my body to recover a bit. I'm feeling so depressed and so that's why i did the purging today.
What made me stop over those 10 days was that i wrote down all the pros and cons of the behaviour and found the things that i wanted more than the actual result of the purging- i wanted a life where i was not following being driven by compulsion. I also wanted to get the hell out of therapy. I didn't want to have to feel like such a crazy cow all the time and i wanted to feel that i had a life that could take me somewhere. I mean all of this stuff does work- and did work for me- but i sorta kinda feel too depressed and that i don't have a future right now- so i kind of figure what's the point? Those things do work though i think- if you just find something that you want way more than the results of the behaviour- then you'll have a good chance of stopping! It could be something really dramatic. I'm sorry i can't really continue with writing anymore- I'm just way too depressed!!!!!!
-Sezzie-