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Originally Posted by sunrise
There are some Ts who like to work with the different parts of a person's personality in therapy, and this goes by a lot of different names: ego state therapy, parts therapy, inner child therapy, inner family systems therapy, etc. My T and I have done ego state therapy in the past, and it worked really well--some of my best memories of therapy. Last time at the end of the session, T wanted to dive very quickly into therapy with two of my "parts". We were super rushed and it didn't go well. I think it will help when we take more time.
I am wondering how working with other parts is for others here. How do you know what parts will participate? Do you identify them? Does your T? T wanted two of my parts to work with each other, and it was like whoa, I don't think I even have those two parts! I felt like one of the parts was just me. I guess I could call it a part, but really, it is closely identified with the main me, so it was hard to hear T call it a "part" (hey, that's me you're talking about T!). And the other part doesn't really exist, or if it does, I am not in touch with that part. Why would T suggest I had this part? Does he see something in me that I don't? Is everyone supposed to have a part like the one he suggested? There is something wrong with me because I don't have or know that part? I felt like he said let's let Parts A and B interact, and I only have A! When I think about it, there was another part there, Part C. But he didn't mention this one. He wants A and B, but that day I only had A and C. Shouldn't I be the one to identify my parts, not him? How can he know? When we did ego state therapy before, I always told him what parts there were. It seems very presumptive and directive of him to identify my parts for me. What we tried didn't work for me because it was inauthentic. I tried to pretend this Part B existed but it didn't. I think some of the difficulty was that we were so rushed so he just plunged in and identified parts. No time to tease out who there really was to work with. I don't know.
Anyway, I just wondered how it was for others who work with different parts of themselves in therapy. Is it you who identify what parts there are or does your T sometimes say to you, "let's work with Part X and Part Y." And if the latter, is there ever a mismatch with what parts T specifies and what parts really exist?
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there was no way for me to be able to "call out" alters of my choice or when, and I had very little co consciousness so there was no way for me to know when an alter was going to pop out. my therapist just worked with them when ever they were out kind of deal.
example our sessions started with getting our coffees and sitting down and talking. sometimes I brought in something to show my therapist and things to talk about with my therapist sometimes I didnt. just like my therapist does with her other clients she works on what ever the client needs and goals are. So if I happened to switch into an alter during our sessions she would ask (like she would any other client) what they would like to talk about or do with her that day. and then go from there. sometimes we would talk with her, sometimes we would do things like coloring, drawing, painting, mosaics, snowflakes, valentines, (otherwise known as art therapy), sometimes we would listen to music and talk about music (music therapy) sometimes we talked about our dreams,fears and memories (trauma therapy), sometimes we did visualizations (inner child therapy).... over all my therapist just did the same things she would for my alters that she would do for me (the host/core) or any of her other clients.
why would your T suggest you have parts? I dont know about your T but all the Therapists around here believe everyone has parts of their self.. Some places call these parts the "roles you play throughout your daily life"
example if you enjoy participating in sports its said thats your competitive side (the competative part of you) if you are married the times you spend with your husband and the things you do for your husband its said thats your wife side of you (the wife part of you) if you enjoy jokes and pulling pranks on people its said thats the humorous side of you (the humorous part of you) if you have children the bond you have with your children and the things you do for your children is said to be the mothering side of you (the mothering part of you)
Everyone has different "sides" (parts) to them that naturally are there. to get in touch with them just pay attention to the kind of person you are, your moods, and what defines who you are in relation to others around you.
Some therapists do tell their clients that they have this side (part) of their self or another, others dont. some tell their clients as a way to get them to begin thinking about their self, their goals, their views about their self, others tell their clients what sides (parts) of their self they have because at that moment the client knowing is of more benefit to the client than harm, some dont tell their clients because they want their clients to discover their self on their own, some dont because they dont want the client just saying what ever they think the therapist wants them to say...
gosh theres so many different reasons why a therapist will or wont discuss a clients internal system, naturally occuring or otherwise. you will need to ask your therapist why he told you and whether its wrong for them to do so for you.
me sometimes my therapist told me other times I discovered the parts/sides of me on my own. no I never had any parts/sides of me that I either rpretended or didnt really exist. come to think of it I dont think I ever faked anything to do with health to please anyone just because they say it. Im usually the one that is saying nope thats not me, thats not how I am. and never tried to live up to how people said I had to be. sometimes i think my being a lesbian was a driving force for me. where all my friends were trying to compete with each other and be the same as each other I always knew I was different and never tried to be like them.when a friend told me doesnt so and so look great. I said I think you think he's cute and my friends would laugh and say the right one will come along for you too, your just slow or something. and Id say yea something like that. no body ever expected me to compete or be like them, that kind of thing just wasnt done where Im from. everyone was able to be their self. sometimes I miss the simplistic life of the mountains. friends accepted you, you knew who your enemies were and doctors treated the symptoms not make you feel like you need to fake something to fit in with what they want. ok Ill stop rambling now lol.