Yes, I've told my T most of what you asked.
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how much you want to call him/her out of the blue during the week, for no reason, just to talk to them, almost as you would a friend?
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I sometimes email her the way I would a friend and she doesn't object. I've told her that I wish she were my friend and that if she weren't my T, I'd want to invite her and her family to dinner! She thanked me and smiled, but I don't remember what else she said. I felt better telling her. She knows how much I like her and she's okay with it.
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how jealous you are that they have other clients, friends, and family who take up their time?
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It's easier to talk about these things with my T because I came to her with "attachment to my Ts" as my main problem, my pattern, that I wanted help with. So I've either emailed my feelings first, or just told her. Your T won't be shocked; it's expected that we have strong feelings for our Ts. I told my T that I wanted to break down the doors to her house, including she and her H's bedroom door. I said I didn't like to think about other clients, that I'm her "only one". I told her I was jealous of her because of her H's job. She lets me talk, accepts what I feel, and we usually end of talking about how I can get those things I want, in MY life.
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how upset it makes you to know they have a life outside of you?
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I don't know if I've said that, but I've told her that I hate the word "client" and that I'm "her job". She knows!
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how much you just want to be friends, and that your need for his/her affection is stressing you out even more than the issues you went into therapy for?
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I've told her that I wish we could be friends, but often the child parts want her to be Mommy, and that I hate this "transference stuff". Since it IS the main issue for me, it doesn't stress me out extra, if that makes sense.
I think you should grit your teeth, or write it or email it--all of your feelings because they are pretty normal for therapy, and it would be productive to discuss them with your T. It's not so bad, really, to talk to your T about your feelings for him/her (oops, I forgot which). I know you can do it!!!
