& what would that accomplish? show her that you are just as messed up as you think she is?

really..why waste your time...& sink then down to her level? if she is so bad why would you want to go there?

i have a brother & sister i haven't seen or heard from in over 20 years...i am sure they say & think pretty crappy things about me...i don't give a crap. that is their choice. not mine. i can not change who they are or what they think. one is evil the other severely mentally ill...neither are worth me wasting any time on. i know they would both bad mouth me & say lies...so i have no need to contact them & get upset.

look is it worth lowering yourself to their level?

you can't make people like you...family or not. in time maybe there can be a relationship. tell your kids that due to a disagreement or what ever right now you are not in touch with them but that hopefully later on you will be. but be the adult & act like one & not the child & acting out like a jerk.