My house is so messy. I just did dishes that were piling up over days. Paper plates all over the place. I collected and discarded them. I took out the trash. I don't feel much better. I went really low this time. So hard to come up. I'm in decline and I know it. I'm never going to be how I could once be.

Why does someone who doesn't want to talk on the phone to me, or email me, bother to send an birthday gift to me. (Well, someone went on line and had something sent to me from an on-line gift place.) It's not anything I have any need or use for. I want to say, "Don't bother." I guess I won't do that. The gift was sent to comfort the giver, not to comfort me. I feel like boxing it up and sending it to the person who ordered it. But I won't do that.

I know how petty I sound.