My boyfriend and I were high school sweet hearts, after 30 years we got back together. He had been married 17 years and me, 25 years. We are both in our 40's. We were both in the process of divorce when we hooked up again. This was over a year and a half ago. It was wonderful. We talked, laughed, etc. I came from a marriage where there was no intimacy. His ex wanted sex and he would do it and get off just to get it done and over. After 3 weeks of dating, he told me he loved me and always did. Shortly after that, we began making love with each other. It was passionate, warm. We would lay in bed for hours afterward, just holding each old, kissing, touching. Then we'd get up and take a shower. When we went to sleep, he would touch me, my breasts, my face, put his arms around me, snuggle up close to me. It didn't always lead to sex, in fact, most times in the middle of the night, it didn't. But he touched me. A few times, he wanted to make love and I told him I couldn't, I was monthly. He said that doesn't bother him if it doesn't bother me. After 6 months, we moved in together in a new home. We pretty much remained the same, we made love 3-4 times a week, he touched me, held me, kissed me, told me he loves me. About 4 months later, I started to notice changes in him. He stopped touching me, he didn't want me to touch him at night, if I put my hand on his arm, he'd move away, if I tried to snuggle, he'd roll over. When I asked him about it, he said it was because my body was too warm, yet his dog, who is extrememly warm, sleeps snuggled up to his body. He stopped touching me. We went from making love 3-4 times a week to maybe once a week. I know relationships slow down, but this was very quick to slow down. And then it was only if he was looking at porn on the computer, then he wanted me. One day I tried to be romantic with him and he just ignored me. When I asked him why, he said, "aren't you monthly?" I said yes it's the end of it. He said "well let me know when you're done." I said it never bothered you before, he said well I'd prefer not to. It was like he just said to me I only did it before to get laid. A few weeks went by and we still hadn't done anything and I asked him why he could beat off to porn but not make love with me. He said I take a lot of work to make love to. he said sometimes it's just easier to and less work to beat off. A few more weeks went by and I asked why we still hadn't made love, was it me or what. He said, knowing that my ex and I didn't make love, "well look at how much you got it before." Like I should be grateful he makes love to me. Love making dwindled down to 1 or 2 times a month, if that. I have tried everything. I work from home, 7 days a week, however my schedule is very flexible and I try not to work when he is home or awake on the weekends. Every weekend, I cook breakfast, lunch and dinner. Every weekday, I set up his coffee pot (which I don't drink coffee), I make his lunch and dinner. I clean the house, do the laundry, lay out his work clothes, lay out his bedtime clothes in the bathroom, lay out his towl and washcloth, put his slippers in the bathroom, set up his sinus wash, make the bed, pick up his night cloths in the morning, pick up his slippers, when he comes home I fix his plate for him, pick up after him, wash the dishes. I am not over weight, I shower daily, hair and makeup always done, I dress decent. I lay out his phones, pens, etc. for work the next day, set the alarm clock for him. Plus working 7 days. The less affection he gives me, the more I try to do. He has numerous reptiles, I feed and water them daily, change their water, clean their cages, etc. The only time he tells me he loves me is when I tell him. He doesn't touch me and on the rare occassion we make love, it is so fast and what is ringing in my head is what he said about his ex, he did it fast to get it over with. When I ask him, he says, well you know I love you. He is good to me in many aspects, but I tried to tell him I am a woman and I need to feel his touch, not necessarily making love, but just touch me. It is all good for about 2 days, then back to nothing. If I didn't touch him, I don't think he'd ever touch me. When we do make love, he jumps off me when he's done, literally within 2 minutes he is jumping out of bed to hop in the shower. Which makes me feel awful. I asked him if it was me, do I smell, do I not do it right, what is it. He said, no it's just sticky. I said, it never bothered you before. Before we make love, it has to be on a towel or my side of the bed because it gets wet. I have tried everything, from sexy notes, sexy lingere, stilletto heels, sexy texts, talking sexy. Before Christmas, we were driving his nephew home and after we dropped him off, I was rubbing his crotch and was going to go down and get the mood started. He stopped me saying "i'm driving" I said, well I did this before. He said, "we'll be home in a few minutes". Well those few minutes laster over an hour because he wanted to go look at the decorations on an old neighbor's house. When we got home, he went right to work on the house. I've gotten to the point where I am so confused. When he does want to make love, I can't relax anymore, I feel like I'm getting a morsel off the gravy train and should be thankful. I feel like I'm too much effort to make love to. I feel like everything I do for him, he could just touch me but I'm not worthy of that touch. I know he isn't seeing anyone else for a fact. He says he doesn't want me to leave. His excuse is he gets sidetracked building cages for his reptiles and whatever. I feel so lonely and yet I want to make love with him but it's like waving a piece of candy in front of a kid, you can have one bite, but you'll have to wait a month to get another bite. I don't know what to do, I could see if I didn't keep the house clean, or cook or look nice everyday or was lazy, didn't work, but that's not me. I tried to tell him how I feel when he jumps on, jumps off and runs in the shower, to no avail. Does anyone have any advice? Am I wrong in my feelings? I know him and I will never be married, he has told me several times he will never get married again, but if he ever did, I would have been the one he'd marry. I'm kinda the milk, why buy the cow when you get the milk for free.