I really should not have his email address. I don't know what's wrong with me these days, I've lost all self control!

I emailed T around 10 to see if I could come in today rather than tomm. He said he doesn't have room and asked me what's up. I replied & told him how I was so depressed over wind I didn't leave my room, I really could use some support blah. Blah.

Here's the email im not proud of...
.

Perf. Example doc of Why I don't think u care!! Cause u read my email how I been ****** and haven't left my ROOM THE WHOLE weekend and u have NO RESPONSE!! *Wtf? *

Ohhhhhh wait I already know what ur gonna say! 'I do care, Michelle, in a professional way.'. Yes, yes, just like I care about my nice,new,shiny electronic STAPLER. *That's a perf analogy!

*I'm tired of trying to convince & lie to myself that u care about ur patients more than a damn rock but it's apparent u don't.*
*I waited all damn weekend to try n connect w/ u cuz I didn't wanna disturb ur weekend! I had no one so I went online & All those that responded were like ohhhh email your T, he'll understand if you are doing bad..I'm sure he'll write back with comforting words..blah blah. I'm like noooo, my T needs space, I'm not gonna bug him on his fam time....

**Hah then I write how bad I'm doing during working hrs &..nothing from u! Not one sentence, not one fuken word! Well! Good thing I didn't write u on the weekend huh! *You can say all the psycho babble bs u want but your actions speak way louder than words.

Idk if I even wanna fukeUn come anymore...only to force urself to trust a stranger, to trick yourself they care bout u n what happens or how u feel...yeah & *i get let down n hurt again. *it's all BULLLLSSSHHHIIITTTTTTT.

Sent from my iPhone

& he responded about an hr ago:
No problem. Happy that you vented. I've had back to back patients all afternoon and just got your emails now. See you tomorrow. *

I can just hear the annoyance in his email. And why wouldn't he?! Ugghhh I need some self control & now I really really don't wanna go tomm! He must seriously think Ive really lost my mind..