(((((Vanessa))))))))),
I hear you loud and clear! Been there, done that, felt that way. Know that it does get better! I hear your intense agony in your writing, and although what your T wrote may seem clinical, it sounded to me like he understood why you felt the way you do. I know you might not be able to see that now, but I hope that as your therapist keeps working with you that you will be able to express how you feel and not feel ashamed. I think you are courageous and look forward to hearing how it goes!