I had originally been pegged as having BPD but have recently been diagnosed instead as having HPD (with borderline features). Histrionic fits the bill ... to a tee.

When it was strictly BPD I thought I needed to cope with, I accepted it and embraced 'recovery' (for lack of a better term). I was on my way! DBT and the works ... But with this new diagnosis, I am TERRIFIED of dealing. I am REALLY scared to cope with this head-on, because so much of who I am and ever have been has been wrapped up in appearance, flirtation, seeking (male) attention, finding men to 'conquer', being the life of the party - so-to-speak, being sensual and dramatic ... I am truly afraid of who I would be - and if I would be cheerful and happy - without all of this. I know that for my marriage and for my children, I should change ... but this is how I have always been and I fear that I may be an empty, boring shell if I do change my HPD characteristics.

I don't know why I'm posting this ... maybe for words of encouragement, or perhaps to see if anyone out there has experienced anything like this ... maybe to vent. But I am standing on the edge of this cliff of dealing with HPD, and I am absolutely terrified of jumping into recovery.