You are looking for excitement in the wrong places. You do not want to be with the musician. Keep telling yourself that. I wish I could go back to that stage that you were in. I would have ran in the opposite direction. This guy is sniffing around for a fling, and sounds like a scumbag in disguise. They appear to be everything you want, but it is an ILLUSION. Maybe you need a healthy distraction. Find something else (harmless) to temporarily obsess about until you can find a therapist to figure out why you are reverting back to old behaviors. Learn an instrument. Maybe you are attracted to him because you want to be like him. I've heard of that before. Take a dance class since you love music. Read books about avoiding Mr. Wrong...........in fact I think that is even a title. Maybe even a vacation alone would make you miss your husband, and you may realize how much you TRULY love him. It really could be worse, you haven't done anything that can't be undone at this point, so try to breathe and relax. Also, check your hormones.....mine act up, and boy do I feel like I'm going absolutely insane with thoughts swirling in my head. It'll be ok eventually.