okay so I'm too worked up to write a lot. I'm really struggling.

I had to call lifeline, it's helped enough for me to not do anything tonight. but I'm planning for tomorrow. like really planning, where, how, when.

so I'm not posting to just tell you all that I'm going to commit suicide, that would be selfish and horrible and pointless.

basically I know I need to call my T in the morning. but I feel like a massive burden because I call her too much. and also I can't go to hospital or everything that's hard atm will become impossible because I'd miss classes in my first week of tafe.

so I think I just need some support in calling her.. or any other ideas in what I can do..