during the week I had all these things I was "sure" I was gonna do...I was sure I was gonna tell her this and show her that and blah blah blah

today is T...and im blank, I feel so afraid of her for no reason..I feel like when I get there Im just gona say "everythings good"
im too scared. Last time I freezed up so bad in front of her I just "went away" and she was talking and I couldnt answer her..

Im never gonna get better like this.
I love my T...I miss her when I leave her office.

but idk what it is but Im terrified right now..I have this feeling that.. shes gonna "get" me....like shes gonna get so fed up with me that shes gonna do something to me.
I KNOW she wont. but its how i feel...the other day I pictured her getting just fed up with my stupifity and throwing me down the stairs.
she would NEVER do that she is the nicest most bestest T ever...Its not her...its me!!! im just having this horrible thoughts....but idk whyyy shes so nice to me why am I having these thoughts....
im so scared
i have T in a few hours