Quote:
I have had this conversation so many times; the euphemisms people use to express their emotions. It's not even hyperbole, these things they say. It's the opposite of hyperbole, unless they happen to be the luckiest people alive. If their assumption were true, why seek sympathy from me? Why disparage the grand institution of depression if it could be characterized by the absence of sensation? If you feel nothing when you're depressed, then by all means let me poke a syringe in your brain so I can mainline these juices into my body. Medical science needs to autopsy you freaks. It would help me.
|
While I can accept that "nothing" is probably not 100% accurate and likely an exaggeration, I think that "numb" or "empty" are valid descriptions of the apathy that I and obviously others sometimes feel when depressed.
Not all depressions are the same, I have had depressions where I have felt a constant longing to die, filled with self hatred for everything that I was and had done - where thoughts and feelings crowed my head and pushed and shoved to voice their condemnation of me.
Yet still there is another beast, a depression of a quieter and more insidious nature, where every breath is meaningless. There is no enjoyment or pleasure. There is no hope or desire. There is no point in moving, eating or living. Even sleeping holds but a brief elusive respite. This is the "nothing" that I speak of - where I don't even care enough to die.