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Old Feb 07, 2012, 07:38 AM
Jamie4321 Jamie4321 is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2012
Posts: 5
OK - I'm really looking for PRACTICAL tips and ideas here to help me with my own emotional issue of an inappropriate crush I have on someone.

Please help me.......!

Some background.

I'm married for 13 years to a woman I still love. We have our ups and downs like any marriage but I do still love her and she is a very good friend. We have 2 children and I am devoted to them and love them dearly. I do not relish any prospect of a life living seperated from them.

Alls sounds fine doesnt it.

So why am I infatuated with another woman?

Due to the nature of my work I spend a certain proportion of every day interacting with this lady "Kate". She has a way about her which affects me physically (knots in my stomach - burning in my chest) when I am with her or even when I think about her.

I am not falling in love with her because we do not have a relationship that is anything more than platonic friendship and mutual respect. Don't get me wrong I 'like' her very much but that doesnt mean I am in love with her.

I DO find her very attractive, but this isnt the only aspect of my attraction to her - there are many things she says and does that I find incredibly powerful (un-neccesarily so) eg the way she walks, or how she pronounces certain words.

These signals to me are all about a crush.

But the BIG problem for me is that I've felt this way for at least 2 years. It just doesn't go away.

I've tried tactics to 'cure myself' - Ive talked to a confidant, I've tried to get to know more about her and her own family (she is married with Children too) to remind myself she is happily married and has a happy life with NO intimate connection with me. But I just can't shake these feelings off.

I really need some practical help here guys - I'm going nuts and its not pleasant when I see her every day. I'd rather be in a very different and more content frame of mind, but how do I get there???????????

PLEASE HELP!

PS I CANT leave my job. I CANT avoid her. I CANT distance myself from her to give myself a break......
Thanks for this!
kitten16