Thanks for the clarification Kureha. I use to think that the government was trying to manipulate me into doing certain things. I was pretty delusional back in those days though. 30 years later I live in a rather small banana republic and I am still rather cautious of getting on the wrong side of this local government, but I think it is for good reason. If a person openly criticizes the governor here there seems to always be a price to pay. People write letters to the editor in the local newspaper but very seldom do they sign their names to it. I recently got married again and I have to wait for the attorney general to approve our application for my wife to reside permanently in this territory. Until that happens she will have to return to her home island and return for another 2 month visitor permit. I hope that my name isn't on the government's **** list. I did call in to a radio talk show and expressed my opinion against a proposal the governor was making once. I just hope that no one recognized my voice. I don't think that I am being overly paranoid either.
It is good if you can find some one that you can really trust whether that is a therapist or a boy friend or girl friend. I had a hard time establishing a real romantic relationship when I was in my 20's but sort of fell into one when I was around 30. That was really the turning point for me personally and the metal turmoil that I experienced when I was in my 20's.