Thanks Aquarius, that is SO perceptive. A lot of my obsession with this world stems from my having tried and failed to be a concert pianist, but that was ages ago. I thought I'd moved on, but I'm obviously still in major pain about it. I wonder if I'll ever get any kind of closure with it now.

For years I avoided music, musicians, sold my piano, didn't even listen to music, stopped attending concerts - and I think it helped. It might be just too triggering for me. Maybe it's time to just completely change reference. It's hard to do now, because my job is arts-related and we work with these people all the time. I could change jobs, but it would be difficult to find the same kind of thing in the city where I am. I'd have to leave town (which actually sounds like a great idea right now)

I have an appointment with a new therapist on Thursday. I have had such CRAP luck with shrinks, but I'm really hoping this guy will turn out to be someone I can work with. I really need help.

Thanks for your sympathetic response