My world felt completely apart 2 years ago .. I woke up one day in such pain i was in tear it was my entire body on fire cramped screaming ,, a zillion tests later " Fibromyalgia "
Of course dealing with chronic pain brought with it a devastating depression and antidepressants from my regular doctor brought out bouts of mania my marriage was basically over my husband could not deal with me and I really was so angry that he refused to be supportive ..I couldnt handle myself ..3 trips to the pysch ward first suicidal thoughts after my husband and I had a violent arguement ( nothing physical) the 2nd my daughter moved to florida ( shes 20 and the only support I really had ..I cut almost to my thigh bone in 3 places so I needed sutures. The last trip I was just a crying suicidal mess when I saw my T ( i see him weekly)that day and told him I needed to go had to go since i had written good bye letter to my daughter and my brother ,, he asked if my husband had driven me ( i had been having hallcinations and was scared to drive and the husband didnt want me to wreck his car ** sigh** my T went outside and brought him in and sat him down and told my husband in no uncertain terms i had bipolar and i wasnt faking anything and I either needed him to understand or we needed to end the marriage because him I and I hadnt really spoken more than a few words in months except for about 10 ugly arguements ..my husband broke down when he realized I was really ill ..I went off the psych ward for another 5 days but things have changed . my marriage wasnt over it just needed lots of time patience and work which took a HUGE weight off my shoulders.
I " think" im finally on meds that seem to be working for now . my husband and I are rebuilding our marriage . I almost feel happy this week !!!
But Im so scared Im going to fall back into a depression or go manic.. Cold weather keeps my fibro pain at about an 8-9 so its miserable for me pain wise but I learned to cope with it better .

For right now im going to stay on meds .. altho I hope to wean off of them one day